Everyone wants to have a good and healthy relationship, whether personal or professional connections. But keeping the relationship healthy, especially with our loved ones can be challenging at time or as relationships develop. Here are some tips for maintaining a good relationship in the grind of daily life.
1. Ask for What You Desire
We often assume that our partners know everything about us and what we want, especially when we’ve been together for a long time. We expect many things from them and don’t clearly express our needs. Reality check: None of us is a mind reader.
Hence, we must ask for what we desire instead of assuming we will get it or our partners will somehow understand it. You
need to find a way to let your loved ones know what you really want to maintain a healthy relationship, especially if it involves your desires, hobbies, and passions. Communication is always key!
2. Do What You Did When You Were Starting
We are all guilty of getting so caught up in being in a relationship that we forget what it is like to date. In the beginning, there is plenty of excitement and anticipation for the future. We try out things that we have never before and enjoy new experiences. We date every weekend and go out more than once every few weeks. But as time goes by, we often get too comfortable with our partner and don’t have things to do that make us excited. Try picking up the things you used to do when you first started dating, and see how excited your partner gets. It is the sweetest feeling to know that the excitement is still there. Novelty keeps relationship fresh, proven by neurological science.
3. Be Honest about Your Feelings
Lying can only get you so far before it all catches up to you. You might think that you are doing the right thing by holding back your feelings and keeping your relationship intact by lying to your partner and avoiding bad conversations or sensitive topics, but you are doing more harm than good.
Be honest about how you feel, don’t hold grudges, and if you want to address something, do it.
Be clear about what you want and be honest about the things bothering you. That is the only way to have a healthy relationship. Of course, this is assuming you feel safe enough in the relationship to keep expressing your inner thoughts and the less positive and more nuanced feelings.
4. Learn How to Listen
Listening is not as simple as it seems. There are a lot of times when we think that we are good listeners when in actuality, we’re only waiting for our turn to talk and present our opinions.
Pay attention to your partner, ask the right questions about what they are saying, and talk about the things bothering them. You are not supposed to solve all their problems, they never expect you to but they want you to listen. Give them your full attention to what they’re saying and even to what they might not be saying. Don’t listen absently. Be there.
5. Go Beyond Asking about Their Day
We are guilty of asking the same question over and over again, even if we are not really interested in the answer. We know this and others know it. How often do we answer honestly to the question “how are you?”.
Instead, try going beyond “How’s your day?” and spend more time listening to your partner. Ask them about their thoughts, opinions, and feelings. It may seem inconsequential; it may seem silly but the small things are the big things. It matters because you care.
In conclusion, it’s not always easy to have a healthy relationship, but it is much better when you put in the effort to show your care and affection in the ordinary everyday life. It’s easy to take things for granted, to ignore the ordinary that is routine. But the small everyday things always add up. Be sincere and make the effort. Don’t go through the routine just for the sake of it, especially in the relationship. Lend a shoulder, an ear, communicate, do it all mindfully. Your presence is the greatest gift for your partner in a relationship.
To learn more about the basics of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, check out the workshop Back2Basics. If your relationship has a strong foundation, don’t neglect the small daily effort. It’s not work. It’s enjoyable (remember we all gladly pay attention in the beginning of a relationship) and wouldn’t we feel great satisfaction from that simple daily life?