Every person experiences different challenges and problems at some point in their life. Whether it’s a breakup, job loss, health issues, death in the family, money issues, or any other personal crisis, it is never easy to cope with all of them. Under these circumstances, it is not always simple to regain our inner peace or balance. But it is through challenges that we build up resilience.
Resilience is defined as the ability to recover from adversity, to adapt well to changes, and to become stronger after facing challenges. The good news is that each one of us has a natural resilience because life is always unpredictable and we all have overcome something or another. However, it’s crucial to develop resilience in a balanced way so we don’t give up or we build a hard armor to block everything else out. Here are a few tips for facing challenging times:
1- Know that you are NOT alone
No matter how strange or odd you think your circumstances are, somebody out there has faced similar challenges. Some has overcome the exact same difficulty, some are going through the same thing like you are. You are not weak, or pathetic, or too much, or not enough. Your feelings are valid.
2- Reach Out
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through life alone. Even if there’s nobody that can help you, there will still be people supporting you. And you’ll never know until you ask. Sometimes, people are waiting for you to ask because they want to support you the way you want to be supported.
Resilience does NOT mean you have to do everything alone. Getting support is the best way and healthiest way to develop healthy resilience. You still have to face challenges yourself but the support will elevate you and most likely guides you to the right direction.
3- Take your time
Difficult strong emotions need time to be processed. Do not rush yourself or force yourself to move on or “get over it”. Everyone reacts to life events differently. You do not have to compare your journey to someone else’s process.
Take a break. If something cannot be resolved in a short time, it’s better if you take a break and step back. Breathe, relax, enjoy some hobbies, take a bath, forget the problem for a day. When you come back, you look at challenges with fresh eyes, renewed heart, and maybe even a creative solution.
4- Remember that challenges are opportunities for growth
A diamond is made under pressure. Challenges are unavoidable in life. Strong emotions prevent you from avoiding challenges. For example, a breakup is painful and it is precisely the pain that makes you honest and prevents you from being in denial. You can choose to sweep it under the rug or learn from it.
While it can be painful, remember that you are more than your emotions. You’re bigger than your troubles. You have survived 100% of bad days. Challenges are opportunities for you to understand more about yourself, to be more compassionate, to grow.
Introspection is essential to improve ourselves. Dealing with any challenge will showcase how you overcome obstacles. You can reflect on them not to see only your failures and weaknesses but also your strengths and gifts. To be able to look back at any difficult time and reflect upon it is already a success.
Reflection is crucial to develop healthy resilience. You can look back and be brutally honest with yourself and you learn how you react to certain things. You will see your triggers, your emotional responses and how you wish to move forward in the future. All of that are valuable insights that nobody else can give you.
We can’t control what happens in life and challenges are inevitable but we can always change how we respond and react to challenges. Healthy resilience can help us overcome obstacles without swinging to the extremes of either giving up completely or hardening our hearts with bitterness. Getting support and knowing about yourself are the only sustainable way to develop resilience that propels you to be the next growth, the better version of you.